So right now, I'm sitting in Eastman, Georgia, about an hour southeast of Macon, on my best friend's laptop. The house just shook. Twice. Apparently, two airplanes broke the sound barrier. Or one broke it twice. In the other room, sit my best friend and two other Air Traffic Control students, who are taking an on-line quiz. They didn't flinch. I'm here to visit one of my oldest friends. He is on his way to be an Air Traffic Controller. He is also a Turf Master. He lives in an amazing adorable and vintage little house in an incredibly small town containing two Mexican restaurants, a plethora of tiny churches, and a Piggly Wiggly. It is hot out. Very hot and humid. I am in Fall mode. This could be fatal.
So I took a break. I was all over blogging about things I loved, and didn't love, things that were sparkly, or tasty, and often just beautiful. I hit a wall. Many things in my life crumbled. Not in the way that they are unable to get over, but very difficult, and draining, and none the less life altering. Things that change profiles...which reminds me that I should do that. I now live with my brother, his fiance, even though he doesn't like the word, and her brother, who is hilariously tall in such an old, small door-ed house. There are a total of four cats and one dog, Bender. We are doing a bizarre, non-singing Brady Bunch thing. Coffee is made daily by the teacher, it is then drank by the siblings who put away the dishes and reload the dishwasher every morning. The evenings include surprisingly comfortable couch sessions while watching Glee or House, commercial free, thanks to DVD-R. My room is painted and full of a crazy I can't hide, I am readjusting and getting to know a part of my new family. I silently chant my mantra from my time in the hospital "this will not kill me." Still sometimes its hard to see a light. Ironically, the hospital visit was a hell of a lot closer to killing me than this will. This is just bruised and broken, but more than anything, scared. I know will be OK, its never been a question of that. I am capable of putting of a bright face. Its just the journey of getting to OK that I need to deal with. So here's to a new start, the beginning of a long path...here goes nothing.
When the World Feels Awful
1 day ago